You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
