what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.