I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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