i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS