Sponge bath it is.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
