well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize