I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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