Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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