fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
