he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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