Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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