I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
