this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize