There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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