i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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