So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
