i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
