wat bout pragnant strippers??
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even my farts smell like vagina
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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