mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize