so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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