I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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