I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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