i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My pussy is not your playground.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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