i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
