Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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