I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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