When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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