Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
