I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
