I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize