I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
