No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The cops high fived after they tackled you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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