She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
