Plan B is the new Plan A
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
