Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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