we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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