made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
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As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My boob is missing a layer of skin
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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