So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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