Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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