Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
