There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize