no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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