My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
