she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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