One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
