She went from zero to smokin in five shots
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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