Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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