The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
did i just pee glitter
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
