Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
