North Korea, Best Korea!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
