No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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