Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
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I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
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well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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