not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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