my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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