I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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