Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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