very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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