He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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