every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
