Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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