I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
