Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
