Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
