Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
